I was warned by so many people that I would be "devastated", "at a loss", "sad" and whatever else when the kids left home but so far I can't say I have felt anything close to that at all. Of course I miss them; I miss the space they take up in the house, I miss their goofiness, I miss their laughter, the endless belching/farting and other odd noises Dylan used to entertain us with, the practical jokes Lindsay would play.. I miss them a lot. However I believe it is in a good way that I miss them. They are both in a place where they belong and pursuing an education in what they are most passionate about. Music for Dylan and art for Lindsay. Hard work, yes, but fun and exciting all the same. New friends, new places to explore, a place to fulfill their dreams. And they are happy. (Yes I know that isn't a real sentence).
I don't care what anyone says; life is too short to go through the motions of a career or education doing something you are not happy with. There is no point in becoming a dentist just because that is expected of you and three generations before you did it; especially if you can't stand staring at someone's yucky looking teeth! If you love digging in the dirt and know all the names of the little green plants and you can make them into beautiful big plants what is the matter with being a landscaper or a the owner of a greenhouse? Nothing. Yes, it is very important to be able to make a living, support yourself and a family and not starve to death so you have to keep that in mind but you need to find happiness in what you are doing too.
Yes, both my kids are in college; not university. Is that a problem? Not for me and not for them. Lindsay tried university for one year and hated it; several of her professors didn't have enough command of the English language to actually be teaching and she detested sitting in a class listening to someone drone on and on about stuff and then going home to read three hundred pages of a textbook that was so dry it would choke an elephant. My kids are hands on; they are much like me. Show me something, offer a few directions and let me at it. Give me lots of pictures; make it fun and interesting. Guaranteed I'll remember it.
Well what kind of job prospects will they have with a diploma in Visual Arts and one in Contemporary Music you might ask? I will answer like this: pretty much the same job prospects as someone who graduates from university with a degree in science, English lit or most anything else. There are no guarantees for any of them. This might just be the stepping stone to further education; they might seek out and find the perfect job and be quite successful for a while before they turn to something else. I know they won't have debt up to their eyeballs after a two year program so that alone is worth something.
Oh yes, back to the empty nest which is what I started all this for! I won't look at my nest as being empty; it wasn't empty when it was just Bob and I when we got married; it was just a small nest. We made it bigger when we added two children and now we just have to rearrange the sticks and feathers so we don't get lost in it. It's hard to remember back to a time when we didn't have children in the house so now we get to re-discover that part of our lives again. It's all good.
So, no, I am not sad, devastated, at a loss, lonely or otherwise buried in angst now that my kids are away from home. I am excited for them; I hear such joy, excitement, passion and wonderment in their voices when we talk on the phone that you can't be anything but happy for them. . . and that's what it's about. Being happy.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
